Remus stared at the ceiling of his single quarantine room, the silence oppressive in a way the shared dorm had never been. The pandemic protocols had separated them all into individual spaces—supposedly to prevent spread, but really just making everyone more isolated and miserable. They'd tried sneaking out to meet in the common room a few nights ago, but Marlene had caught them and given them such a fierce lecture about "endangering everyone's health" that they'd sheepishly returned to their rooms.

Eight days of isolation. Eight days of forced separation from the people who kept him grounded. And underneath it all, the constant awareness that the full moon was approaching. October 2nd. Less than two weeks away.

He rolled over and grabbed his laptop from the bedside table, the familiar Windows XP startup sound seeming thunderous in the silent room. The blue glow of the screen illuminated his face as he navigated to his desktop, cluttered with school files, music folders, and random documents he'd been meaning to organize for years.

His cursor hovered over a folder labeled "Hogwarts Memories 2000-2003." He'd created it at the beginning of sixth year, some impulse to preserve their friendship before everything got complicated by N.E.W.T.s and university applications and whatever came after. Now, with everything feeling so fractured and uncertain, he found himself drawn to it.

He double-clicked.

FOLDER: First Year - Digital Camera Pics
File: dorm_room_christmas_2000.jpg - Modified: December 24, 2000, 11:47 PM
The photo was slightly blurry, taken with James's new digital camera that none of them really knew how to use yet. Four eleven-year-old boys grinning at the camera, sitting on James's bed surrounded by wrapping paper and Christmas presents. Remus remembered this moment with startling clarity.

He'd been planning to spend Christmas alone at Hogwarts—his father was working, as always, and the idea of going back to their empty house had felt unbearable. But then James's parents had sent presents. Actual wrapped gifts with his name on them, from people he'd never met but who cared enough to include him.

In the photo, Remus was holding up a thick, soft jumper—deep green with silver trim, clearly expensive. His face was a mixture of wonder and disbelief. Sirius was next to him, hair still short and neat (before he'd grown it out in rebellion), grinning as he showed off his new leather jacket from the Potters. James was in the middle, arms around both of them, radiating pride at his parents' generosity. Peter sat slightly apart, content with his pile of Chocolate Frogs and Wizard trading cards.
File: common_room_late_night_2001.jpg - Modified: March 15, 2001, 1:23 AM
This one was taken by Peter during one of their late-night study sessions that had devolved into talking and laughing instead of actual work. Remus and Sirius were curled up together on the couch, sharing a Transfiguration textbook. Sirius was reading aloud—he'd started doing that when he noticed Remus struggling with the dense academic language, making it seem casual and natural. In the photo, Remus was looking up at Sirius with an expression of quiet gratitude that made present-day Remus's chest tight.

James was on the floor, quill in his mouth, presumably working on his Potions essay but clearly listening to Sirius read. The fire cast warm shadows across all their faces. They looked impossibly young and impossibly happy.
FOLDER: AIM Logs - Archived
File: marauders_group_chat_april2001.txt
AIM Group Chat - April 8th, 2001, 9:47 PM
ProngsQuidditch: moony you there?
ProngsQuidditch: we need to talk
SiriuslyTrouble: this is serious moony
SiriuslyTrouble: very serious
WormtailPeter: we know
MoonyBlues03: know what?
ProngsQuidditch: don't play dumb
ProngsQuidditch: we've been keeping track
SiriuslyTrouble: every month like clockwork
SiriuslyTrouble: you disappear
SiriuslyTrouble: come back exhausted and hurt
WormtailPeter: the full moon remus
MoonyBlues03: ...
MoonyBlues03: i don't know what you're talking about
ProngsQuidditch: your mum isn't sick is she
MoonyBlues03: of course she is
SiriuslyTrouble: remus
SiriuslyTrouble: we're your friends
SiriuslyTrouble: we care about you
SiriuslyTrouble: whatever it is we can handle it
MoonyBlues03: no you can't
MoonyBlues03: trust me you can't
ProngsQuidditch: try us
WormtailPeter: please moony
WormtailPeter: we're worried
MoonyBlues03: ...
MoonyBlues03: you'll hate me
SiriuslyTrouble: impossible
ProngsQuidditch: absolutely impossible
MoonyBlues03: you don't understand
MoonyBlues03: i'm dangerous
MoonyBlues03: i'm a monster
SiriuslyTrouble: remus john lupin you are not a monster
ProngsQuidditch: whatever it is we'll figure it out together
MoonyBlues03: i'm a werewolf
WormtailPeter: ...
SiriuslyTrouble: ...
ProngsQuidditch: ...
MoonyBlues03: see?
MoonyBlues03: i should go
ProngsQuidditch: WAIT
ProngsQuidditch: don't you dare log off
SiriuslyTrouble: how long?
MoonyBlues03: what?
SiriuslyTrouble: how long have you been dealing with this alone?
MoonyBlues03: since i was five
ProngsQuidditch: FIVE?
WormtailPeter: oh god moony
SiriuslyTrouble: that's it
SiriuslyTrouble: we're becoming animagi
MoonyBlues03: what?
ProngsQuidditch: brilliant idea
ProngsQuidditch: absolutely brilliant
WormtailPeter: wait what?
SiriuslyTrouble: animals can be around werewolves safely
SiriuslyTrouble: you'll never have to be alone again
MoonyBlues03: that's illegal
MoonyBlues03: and dangerous
MoonyBlues03: and stupid
ProngsQuidditch: since when do we care about illegal?
SiriuslyTrouble: and we're already dangerous and stupid
SiriuslyTrouble: might as well be dangerous and stupid for a good cause
WormtailPeter: i'm in
MoonyBlues03: you're all insane
ProngsQuidditch: insane about our friend
SiriuslyTrouble: our brother
SiriuslyTrouble: because that's what you are moony
SiriuslyTrouble: you're our brother and we love you
SiriuslyTrouble: monster and all
MoonyBlues03: i'm not a monster to you?
ProngsQuidditch: you're remus
ProngsQuidditch: you're our remus
ProngsQuidditch: that's all you'll ever be

Reading it now, Remus could feel the exact same overwhelming gratitude and disbelief he'd felt that night. They'd seen him at his most vulnerable, learned his darkest secret, and their immediate response had been to break the law for him. Not out of pity, but out of love.

FOLDER: LiveJournal Backup
File: remus_private_entry_july2002.html
Date: July 23rd, 2002 Mood: 🏳️‍🌈 enlightened Music: David Bowie - "Rebel Rebel"
Soho and Self-Discovery

I don't even know how to write about today. Grant took me to Canal Street and I feel like my entire world has shifted.

For context: Grant is this guy I knew from the children's home when I was little, before Dad got custody. We reconnected through some online forums (long story) and discovered we both ended up in London area. He's muggle, obviously, but he's also the first person I've ever met who just... gets it. Gets being different. Gets feeling like you don't fit anywhere.

Anyway, he's been hinting for weeks that there were places I should see, people I should meet. "You'll understand when you're ready," he kept saying, which was both mysterious and annoying. But today he finally took me to Soho.

Canal Street is like nothing I've ever experienced. It's this whole area where being gay isn't something you hide or apologize for—it's celebrated. There are rainbow flags everywhere, men holding hands openly, bookshops with sections I never knew existed. Grant walked me through it all like he was giving me a tour of a country I didn't know I was a citizen of.

"This is your community too," he said, watching me stare at everything with what must have been obvious wonder. "If you want it to be."

I think I do want it to be.

We went to this bookshop called Gay's The Word and I spent two hours just reading. Books about coming out, about gay history, about people like me who felt lost and found themselves. Grant bought me a copy of "The Front Runner" and said it was required reading.

The weirdest part was how normal it all felt. Like I'd been holding my breath for years and finally remembered how to exhale.

I told Grant about Sirius. Not the whole truth—can't exactly explain the magic part—but about how we're... whatever we are. How I've never been able to talk about it with anyone. He just nodded and said, "First love's always complicated. Especially when you're both figuring yourselves out."

First love. Is that what this is?

Walking around Canal Street today, seeing all these couples just existing openly, I could picture it. Me and Sirius, not having to hide or pretend or make excuses. Just being.

Maybe someday.

Grant's invited me to come to some youth group meetings. Says there are other people our age dealing with similar stuff. I'm terrified and excited in equal measure.

For the first time in my life, I don't feel completely alone in this part of myself.

Remus closed his eyes, remembering that day with perfect clarity. Grant had been so patient, so understanding. He'd given Remus the vocabulary and the confidence to understand himself in a way Hogwarts never could. The wizarding world was progressive about many things, but sexuality was still whispered about, still treated as something private and slightly shameful.

Canal Street had been a revelation. And Grant had been the guide who led him there.